


Daz: The New Kid

by Randomhumanbeing



Category: Invader Zim
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-04
Updated: 2018-05-04
Packaged: 2019-05-02 08:00:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14540277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Randomhumanbeing/pseuds/Randomhumanbeing
Summary: Daz is a new kid that's come to Skool, but there's something... off about him. The way he looks at people studying them, he wants to become friends with Dib despite thinking he's insane, and the way he talks to nothing. He has a secret, and Dib  will discover it, or die trying.





	1. Chapter 1

A brother and sister walked to Skool. One had purple hair in the shape of a jaw around her head and was playing her Game slave. The other had lightning bolt shaped black hair and amber eyes. Dib and Gaz.  
“I’m telling you Gaz today’s… different somehow-” Dib said.   
Gaz sighed interrupting him, “Do you ever shut up?”   
Dib ignored her interruption, “Today’s the day when I’m finally going to catch Zim in the act and prove to everyone that I’m not crazy and aliens really do exist.” Before Gaz could make a scathing remark, there was the sound of a branch snapping followed by a bush rustling.   
Dib turned around and looked at the area around them, “Gaz, I think we’re being watched.”   
Gaz’s head didn’t leave her Game slave, “It’s probably a cat or something.”  
“But what if it’s not,” Dib said, walking towards the bush,“I’m gonna go check it out.”  
Gaz grabbed his arm before he could make another move, “You are not going to make me late to skool with your alien junk.” Dib looked at the bush and saw whatever had been there was long gone, however it had left a piece of evidence. A strand of white fur sat on a branch. Before he was dragged off, Dib grabbed it and stuffed it in his pocket.   
Dib ran into class, only barely making the bell. On the chalkboard was the word ‘nature’ in big letters. Miss Bitters glared at him, but didn’t say anything. She cleared her throat, “Everything in the Universe wants to bring you closer to your inevitable doom.” She put a picture of a bunny rabbit on the board. Keef awed, Miss Bitters slithered up to him. A rattlesnake seemed to sound whenever she moved.   
“You think that’s cute?” She said. Keef nodded enthusiastically with a smile.  
“It won’t be when thousands of them gather together and trample you, using their teeth to cut your throat and eat your insides.” Keef began shivering uncontrollably, grabbing his neck.   
“Do rabbits even trample people?” Dib asked, Miss Bitters made a growling noise in the back of her throat. Before she could respond however, there was a soft knocking on the classroom door.   
A small thin boy stood in the doorway. He had spiky black hair with purple highlights, pale skin and brown eyes. “I am a new student.” His voice was nasally. Miss Bitters opened the door wider letting him in. The child who sat third from the window was chosen to go to the underground classroom. The boy quickly took the child’s place. He looked at the rest of the class, there was a cold blankness in his stare. As if he was studying them instead of looking at them. Dib looked at him suspiciously.  
“What’s your name new kid?” Torque said, his voice was hostile. Miss Bitters hissed at him, but let the boy answer. The boy stayed quiet.  
“Come on.” Zita said rolling her eyes.  
“Erm…” The boy hesitated, “Daz!” He said, “Yep, that’s my name. Sorry, I just sort of forgot for a second. I’m forgetful.” The other kids accepted the answer. Dib continued to glare at Daz.   
“What’s with that guy?” Daz asked the other kids.   
“He’s crazy.” Zita stage whispered, she pointed her finger at Zim, “He thinks he’s an alien too.”   
“Yes and I am NOT! I am a completely NORMAL human.” Zim shouted.   
Daz laughed looking at Zim his eyes still blank and studying, “Well if he is, my dad will find him. He’s obsessed with oddities. All that paranormal stuff. That’s why we moved here.” The bell rang. Everyone was given a pile of homework a few inches taller than they were.   
Dib walked up to him, looking over his pile, “Hey.”  
Daz giggled, “You’re the crazy guy right?”  
“I’M NOT CRAZY!” Dib shouted.  
Daz cocked his head, “What do you want anyway?”   
“I’m a paranormal investigator, like your dad, so I want to meet him and show him my progress.” Dib said.  
Daz frowned, “I’m not sure you can. Dad’s really shy and wouldn’t want to waste his time.” He gave a crooked smile, “Maybe if we were friends…”  
Dib looked at him, “You want to be my friend?”  
Daz nodded, “Sure you’re probably insane, but that’s what makes you interesting to talk to.”  
Dib’s eye twitched, “I see. You noticed that Zim’s green didn’t you? And that he has no ears?”  
Daz shrugged, “Could be a skin condition.”  
“IT’S NOT A SKIN CONDITION!” Dib shouted, “You’re father’s a paranormal investigator, how could you not notice Zim’s an alien?”   
Daz laughed, “You really are crazy. Can I come over to your house later?”  
Dib nodded, “Yeah, sure. I’ll be spying on Zim trying to get evidence, so I won’t likely be there.” He sounded irritated, but Daz didn’t seem to notice.  
“Okay, bye!” Daz said skipping away. The other skool students stared at Daz.  
“That kid’s as weird as Dib is.” Zita whispered. Jessica and the other popular kids nodded. They all collectively agreed to shun him.  
Dib looked at Gaz, “I can’t explain it, but there’s something… off about the new kid.”  
Gaz didn’t look up, “So you finally found a new obsession.”  
“Of course not! Zim’s still trying to take over the world, and I will not rest until I prove it! But I think I should look into him.” He continued to walk home following Zim and looking at him through the bushes when he heard a slight muttering sound. He looked across the street and saw Daz, but there was no one else near him.   
“We’re getting a new pet soon!” He said, “Isn’t that lovely?”  
There was no audible response, but Daz said, “Of course I’ll never forget you. You were my first.” He walked into a dull looking gray house with a steel fence.  
“Pet?” Dib said, an eyebrow raised, “But there was nothing there!”  
Gaz looked up, “I hate agreeing with you, but that was kind of odd.”  
Dib continued to walk, “Maybe it’s a ghost pet or an invisible one he was talking to?” He eventually reached his house when he declared, “I’m going to watch him.”  
Gaz didn’t look up, “Didn’t you already decide to do that?”  
“Yes! But now it’s serious.”   
“Watch out Daz.” Gaz said dryly, “Dib is being serious.”   
Dib ignored her, “When he comes over, I’m going to wiretap and videotape him.”  
“Whatever.” Gaz said, walking up to her room, “Just don’t bother me.”


	2. Chapter 2

Daz walked into the Membrane household. “Hello!” He said ecstatically, Realizing no one was in the living room he ran into a room at random.   
“I’m at your house!” He said happily.   
A dark aura surrounded Gaz, “Get. Out.” She hissed. Turning away from her screen for five seconds to glare at him. If looks could kill, Daz knew he’d be a pile of ashes.  
Daz made a small squeaking sound, running out the door and closing the door. He paused, “I didn’t know your eyes were brown.” He noted, before walking into into Dib’s room.Dib was sitting in the center of the room, lights off, he stared at a computer screen, watching Zim’s kitchen.   
Daz made a long whistle sound, “Nice technology.” He said.   
Dib jumped hearing his voice, “Oh, it’s just you.”  
“So you’re stalking that other ‘normal’ kid huh?”  
“What? No! Well… I guess so, but it’s more like espionage, watching the enemy in order to more stop him from committing his evil.” Dib replied.  
Daz nodded, “I suppose.” He started to watch the video.   
Gir was watching The Screaming Monkey show eating popcorn with one hand and bending spoons with the other. He was humming loudly. He was still wearing his dog costume.   
“Gir!” Zim shouted as he goose-walked in.  
Gir saluted, his eyes red, “Yes my master.”  
Zim began pacing, “It’s time for another BRILLIANT, plan to take over this miserable planet.”   
“I HAVE A HAT.” Gir shouted, he’d bent the spoons into the shape of a hat and was dancing around with it on his head. Zim slapped the spoon-hat off Gir’s head, “My hat…” Gir sniffled.  
“Focus Gir, this is very important.” Zim said. Gir looked down sadly.  
“Now. Zim continued, “For my glorious plan.” He marched into the toilet and flushed himself into his lair. The screens turned black.   
“You see! I’m not crazy. He’s evil and trying to destroy the Earth!” Dib said.   
Daz shrugged, “Not convinced.”   
“WHAT?!” Dib shouted, “Come on, were you even paying attention to what was happening?”  
Daz nodded, “He’s quite the actor, he even has his dog involved! His makeup was pretty good too, he must have some tech to make it look like his real eyes are contacts. I really like the make up side of acting, it’s my passion you know. Trying to be something your not in order to impress a large audience is fun!”  
Dib sighed, “There’s no use in trying to convince you is there?”  
Daz shook his head, “Nope! But my dad would be super interested in all this nonsense, especially the tech.” His eyes glimmered as he looked around the room. “This is great stuff.”  
Dib smiled, “Thanks, my dad made some of it, though I made slight modifications so it would work for my investigations.”  
Daz clapped his hands, “That’s so cool! I think you’re ready to come to my house and meet my dad.”  
“Really,” Dib said, “Wow,” Remembering his former experience with a ‘real paranormal investigator’ he sighed, “He probably won’t believe me though…”  
Daz laughed, “Are you kidding? Trust me Dib, he’ll love you and your crazy theories about your classmates. His room is filled with this kind of stuff.” He rolled his eyes, “His recent obsession has been “The Irken empire.” Supposedly they’re trying to take over the universe, and their leaders are just taller than every other member of their species. Can you believe that?”  
Dib’s jaw practically dropped at that moment. Daz’s father was definitely a real paranormal investigator… Maybe this time things would be different. A human that finally wouldn’t let him down. “I can’t wait to meet him.” He said.  
Daz nodded, “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow then!” He started backing up, and ran into the wall. For a split second he vanished. Dib blinked and Daz came back into existence, as if it hadn’t happened. He wondered whether he’d imagined it. He would have to check out the vidoes later. Daz gave a cheery wave, and skipped outside.  
“Dib, Dad said to tell you dinner’s ready.” Gaz said a few hours later.  
“In a minute Gaz.” Dib replied, he was watching the video of Daz leaving. For a split second, Daz disappeared and reappeared in the camera. “So it wasn’t just my eyes.” He muttered he brought the video back to the beginning. He wondered if he was wearing some sort of cloak or had some sort of button that allowed him to be invisible, “Computer, enhance.” He said loudly. The video went closer to Daz’s body, revealing a small button in the back of his neck. Wires poked out of it as if made in a rush. “Ah-ha,” Dib said with a grin. He looked closer at the wires, “That’s odd.” He said, the wires didn’t look like typical metals. The metal was bright green instead of copper or iron. “Computer, name the metal.” Dib asked. The computer loaded,   
“Unknown substance?” Dib read allowed after the computer finished loading. He raised an eyebrow, “That’s odd.” He began to pace, “I wonder what it is? Did Daz’s father create a new element? Something was very off about all this-  
“DIB!” Gaz shouted. Dib put down his computer, “Coming!” He ran out of the room.


	3. Chapter 3

A bug skittered along a desk. It was looking for food. It looked above itself, moving its antennae, A large spiky looking black blob floated above it. Not food. He looked slightly down, continuing to move its antennae. The blob or “creature” the bug supposed wasn’t food unfortunately. The bug watched the creature. The creature’s eyes were darting back and forth, as it looked at two blobs, a green one and a pale one.   
“However, the search for food can end at any second. By the all powerful force of death.” The bug heard these words but had no idea what they meant. It ran across the desk in panic, until a large shadow moved over it. The bug looked at his wallet, inside were pictures of his wife and little larvae. They would never see him again, and they would never get the food they needed to survive.  
“I love you.” He said to the pictures, then...  
Squash.   
“And that students, is why nothing in your pathetic lives matters.” Mrs. Bitters said. The bell rang, “Class dismissed.” The students all excitedly ran out of the classroom. Daz immediately ran up to Dib, “So, pal, ready to go to my house?! Sorry, but we’ll have to walk there, don’t worry too much though, it’s pretty close!”  
Dib frowned, “Should I bring some of my evidence to prove that I know what I’m talking about?”  
Daz chuckled, “No need for that.Your words will be enough.”   
They arrived at the house. It looked just as bland up close as it did from far away. Daz took a beaker-shaped key out of his pocket and he turned the key twice in the lock then opened the gate. Dib followed after him, as soon as he walked in, he heard a loud SLAM as the gate shut behind him.   
“Automatic doors.” Daz explained simply, “It stays open for 30 seconds per key turn.”  
Daz whispered something to the door, and it automatically opened as well. “Never can have too much security.” He said, “Come on.” Dib followed him inside. There was a cheese and cracker platter and a glass of lemonade on the coffee table.  
“Don’t worry, they’ve only been here for about an hour.” Daz said, “Dad’s a little,” He coughed, “Neurotic, but he’s mostly harmless. He tends to make food for invisible guests every ten minutes.” He handed Dib the lemonade, “Try some, it’s pretty good.”   
Dib hesitated, but drank the lemonade. He suddenly felt a rush of whooziness. He tried to think, but his brain felt like pudding. His legs fell out from under him, “Wh-” He said, his voice was slurred slightly.   
The last thing he saw was Daz’s smiling face.  
“Nighty night pet. Sleep well.”  
Chapter 4  
Dib’s pried his unwilling eyes open, then squinted, everything was so bright. The floor was cold and obviously some sort of metal. He stood up and immediately hit his head on the ceiling. He heard someone laugh, his head immediately moved towards the sound of the noise, he saw a metal mesh in front of him and in front of it a shadowy figure.  
“Ah, you’re awake.” Said the figure with the nasally voice of Daz it stepped forward into the light. The voice didn’t come from the small boy Daz knew. The creature was about the same size as Daz had been however bright white fur covered his body, he had a tail long enough to serve as a third arm. He had a distinctly human face, which made his features seem even more twisted and disturbed.   
“Oh hi, Dib. Or should I say ZIM. It’s nice to see you in my real form.” He said with a smile, showing off his long sharp teeth.   
“What, I’m not Zim...” Dib stated.  
“Don’t play games with me, I know how good Irken’s are at subterfuge.” Daz said, eyes narrowed, a small smile on his face, “It was quite clever of you, to pretend to be someone paranoid about aliens, erasing the memory of some poor kid with a skin condition and convincing them they’re you. Almost brilliant in fact, if I was any less of a Bangle, I would never have been able to see through your disguise. There were two things that gave you away, your technology and this!” He held up a small pen-like object that was vibrating quickly, “This senses anomalies in an area, so as soon as you passed by me while walking to skool, I knew it was you!” He looked pretty proud of his deduction skills.  
Dib raised an eyebrow, “So let me get this straight, you think it’s more likely that Zim come up with a good disguise for himself as a human and created a red herring for any trackers via creating a ‘fake Zim’ and you think the real Zim is me. Instead of the person who calls themself Zim and creates evil plans being Zim?” He did wonder why Daz’s alarms went off when he was around though.   
Daz nodded, “It’s absolutely diabolical! Exactly what I would expect from an Irken soldier. Insane, yet brilliant!”   
Dib sighed, “This is stupid.”  
Daz began to pace, “The only question I have left is where you’re keeping your PAK. I’m guessing you just hid it while you were disguising yourself, but typically you can still touch things that are invisible. Tricky. Very very tricky…”  
Dib looked around for some sort of escape above him was a similar mesh as in front of him and behind him. It seemed like his only choice was to attempt to reason with Daz.   
“Dr.Membrane, my dad, he’s a scientist so he has a lot of advanced technology.” Of course, that’s not where he got most of his equipment, but he wasn’t sure how much he wanted to tell Daz about the Swollen Eyeball.  
Daz frowned, “Your technology is able to rival that of one of the greatest species in the universe. You’re telling me a member of a species that hasn’t managed basic faster-than-light travel managed that? Come on Dib, you’re smart, think!”  
Dib hadn’t really thought about that before. Was it possible the Swollen Eyeball had an alien or at least alien technology in their grasps? He shook his head, now was not the time to worry about that. He needed to focus on escaping. Daz seemed to enjoy talking, so he thought the best thing to do would be to get him to continue looking while he searched for an escape.   
“What are you planning on doing with me anyway?” he asked.   
“I’m going to fix you.” Daz said simply, “It’s my unpaid-job to fix the broken or unusual parts of the universe. I’m a bit of a wanderer, my species was killed off when the Irken’s decided to turn it into a parking lot, but no hard feelings. love it! It’s amazing fun slowly watching creatures go to their proper place in the universe. It’s very calming too, and since you’re an oddity, I’m going to reconfigure your PAK and make you normal. The only problem is, I don’t know where your PAK is.” He looked sad at the   
Dib frowned, there was nothing here for him to work with.   
Daz’s eyes narrowed, “Hmmmm, that’s odd. My scanners state that you are, indeed, not a member of the Irken species. Whoops.Oh well, looks like I’m just going to have to kill you.” He paused, “Wait, you said before that you knew where Zim was didn’t you?”  
Dib nodded, “Yes, you’ve met-”  
“Be right back!” Daz said and ran away.Behind Daz, there were several colored buttons. He hadn’t been able to see them before because Daz had been blocking the panel. “I might be able to reach it.” Dib said He reached his arm out, his finger was almost able to press the big red button when Daz returned.  
“I’m back!” He shouted, then he grabbed Dib’s hand and put a green ball on his palm. “My tracking device is clearly malfunctioning due to your presence, so you’ll have to lead me to the Irken. If you move 1 meter away from me, that bomb will automatically kill you. Of course, you’re dead anymore, but you probably want to make your life last as long as possible right?” Before Dib could answer Daz said, “Right, let’s go.”


	4. Final Chapter

Dib knew he needed to come up with a plan, and fast if he wanted to escape from Daz. He assessed his situation. If he just ran, he’d blow up, if he just stood there he’d obviously be killed. He decided to lead him in the opposite direction of Zim’s house while he thought.  
“Say, wanna hear my plan to capture him once we get to Zim’s house?” Daz said, desperate to end the thick silence that stood between them.   
“Sure,” Dib said, at the very least it could give him ideas.  
“Using my DNA scanning alteration device, the same one I used to change myself into Daz by mixing your and your sister’s DNA I’ll ring his doorbell. But it won’t be looking like some average human, I’ll look exactly like him. Well, him if he didn’t have a PAK… Anyway, when he opens the door, seeing his own reflection he’ll be so shocked that he won’t notice me pull out this!” He took out a blue button, “This button will activate my lazer, which will than trace my location, which, if he’s still in shock, will be 5 inches from Zim’s location after 3 minutes. The lazer will teleport him into a net on my ship made specifically to hold Anomoles. It turns off all electronic impulses so he’ll be dead for a few seconds and thus still, so I can reprogram his PAK.” He smiled smugly, “Pretty clever for a measly Bangle right?”   
Dib thought for a second than says, “Say, what happens to me if you die?”  
“It automatically detonates.” He hugged Dib, “If I go down, we all go down together.”  
Dib nodded, a pretty simple plan coming into his mind to defeat Daz’s unnecessarily complex one.  
“Now a left and we’re here.” Dib said as they walked up to the scary, giant purple and green house. Oversized lawn gnomes littered the front lawn and a flag that said, “I love earth” sat in directly behind the fence. Daz pressed a button, this time, Dib was able to watch as he slowly warped. For a few seconds his body looked like black puddy, before it twisted and molded into a perfect replica of Zim. Dib walked behind him quickly, making sure he didn’t miss that meter mark. If went a few inches too far, then all was lost. He would die and a Zim with a competent PAK would be left to rule over Earth. Dib really really hoped this would work.   
Daz rang on the doorbell and the robot parents came out. “Welcome home son!” The blue and black haired robots said, unable to recognize Daz for who he was. A few minutes later Zim ran up to the front door.   
“Eh, who are you?” Zim said pointing at Daz, “and why have you taken the appearance of the great and mighty Zim.”   
Daz smiled, “You must know by now Zim, after all, you’re a brilliant Irken Invader-”  
Zim waved his hand, “Yes yes, I am amazing, but that doesn’t explain why you’re here?!”  
“As I was-”  
“Why?!”   
“As I was about to-”  
“WHY?!”   
Daz looked like he was about ready to strangle Zim and it had only been one minute, and than GIR walked out. Not even in disguise, he just walked out, a pizza in hand.   
“GIR, SEIZE THE IMPOSTER ZIM!” Zim shouted.   
Gir’s eyes turned red and he dropped the pizza, “Yes my Master.” He said as he grabbed Daz’s hand.  
Daz smiled, “NO GIR, YOU MORON, HE’S OBVIOUSLY THE IMPOSTER!”   
Gir’s eyes turned blue again and he looked back and forth at the pair, confused, than a giant smile lit up on his face, “Oh, oh, I seen this in the movies! My real Master would know the Doom song!”   
30 seconds.   
“Whoever can’t sing the Doom song is who I’ll capture!” Gir said, but before either one could start singing, a blue beam burst out of the sky. 10 seconds. Daz broke into evil laughter, “It’s too late!” Dib sighed and pushed him. He stumbled back, hitting Zim which pushed him back inside. He got hit by the lazer and was forced into his own ship. Into his own net, which cut off the electrical power to the bomb.   
Zim looked at the sky, “Well I guess that solves that.”   
“BYE MASTER!” Gir shouted.   
“No Gir, that was a fake, I’m the real Zim. The only Zim.” Zim only just now noticed Dib. “Eh, when did you get here?”  
“I’ve been here the whole time!”   
“Oh… Computer, get the Dib-human off of my lawn!”   
Several lazers from the gnomes began to hit Dib. Zim laughed maniacally as Dib was forced to run away, than closed the door. Dib sighed as he stood behind the fence and looked at the door. A few seconds later, Gir came outside and took his pizza.   
Did this count as a victory? Well, it was better than the alternative ending to things, although he didn’t unmask either of them to the public and nothing was actually changed by any of this. He gave an unenthusiastic, “Victory for Earth I guess.”


End file.
